Elliot Ness Shoots Back
Elliot Ness is gonna kick Trump's ass!
Oh my God! Have you heard the news? The Justice Department just sicced [SO1] Pat Garret on Billy the Kidd's ass.
Actually, they sent Captain Kirk and the Enterprise after Khan at warp eight.
Uh, no, they ordered Virgil Sollozzo to cut off Don Corleone's nuts while he was serving pizza to his grandchildren
Actually, the aggrieved, wounded and increasingly bitter grey suits who believe God entrusted them with the well-being of America have decided they’re not gonna take it anymore; and they've summoned a man who they think will prove to be Donald Trump’s ultimate nemesis. (Think Robert Shaw & Richard Dreyfuss, Bette Davis & Joan Crawford, Edison and Tesla, James Bond and Odd Job, Hillary Clinton and the American voter.)
Step forward Elliot Ness the righteous conqueror of Al Capone.
That’s right, the Justice Department has appointed the former director of the FBI, Robert Mueller who from 2001 to 2013 was the predecessor and professional role model of the recently sacked FBI director James Comey. Mueller is by all accounts the most upstanding member of the FBI since the venerable institution was formed.
Philip Mudd the silver-haired, former Intelligence Officer who has mysteriously morphed into a trusted CNN contributor (aka steely-eyed moral arbitrator of all that is right and good in the American republic) almost worked himself into a hands-free orgasm on live television when praising his former colleague and patriot. Mudd praised Mueller as “the American hero all young kids have been looking for” and “in all my years of service I never saw anything like it.”
Wow.
Donald J. Trump, the 45th and current President of the United States of America is clearly fucked.
Who could have guessed that the human being who took down Trump would be a “humble civil servant” who looks like the hard-working middle child of Mary Poppins and Daniel Boone.
Al Capone always believed a spaghetti-stained knife in the back from a hot dame with a grudge would do him in (Capone suffered from crippling syphilis for years), and the perpetually grinning, pudgy little psycho never saw Ness coming.
Trump can see Robert Mueller coming. Unfortunately, there’s nothing he can do to stop the straight-shooting, water-boarding averse Mueller from strolling into the White House and systemically tearing Trump’s increasingly fragile empire down.
.... this is going to be so good.