The Two Don's Buddy Up

The two reigning Dons of Israel and America recently met in the Oval Office and everything could not have been chummier or rosier.

Don Trump, buffeted by the knowledge that he was hosting someone even more portly and less camera friendly than himself, was in a remarkably cordial mood. As for the Oval office’s most important elected official, Don Benjamin, none of the assembled global peddlers of fake gossip and poorly researched cheap innuendo could ever recall him ever appearing more relaxed in a public setting.  So relaxed were the two men that the assembled dispensers of fake global news were preparing to report the sight of the two Dons exchanging Cuban cigars, breaking open a fresh packet of playing cards, and playing a quick round of five card poker. 

Perhaps the assembled low-life perpetuators of fake news didn’t let you know this, but the two Dons came to the Oval Office to help us all understand the remarkable depth and irresistible power of their unique, truly unbreakable bond. Their bond is greater than the trivial day-to-day business of global politics and outmoded twentieth century political convention. We must understand that every single political, economic or social benefit that will occur in the future between America and Israel is a direct result of their special bond. Only they can resolve the rotten, festering conflict between Israel and Palestine. Frankly, and its quite remarkable no one recognised this earlier, they are indispensable. Anyone who countenances replacing them with another leader is risking global peace, the future of mankind, and, quite possibly, the end of history itself.   

These two great visionaries are not only preparing to make history, they are about to fulfil their manifest destiny and become part of history. They intend to secure their reputations as the greatest ever leaders of their respective countries while also ensuring their respective families become part of their nations’ enduring national and mythological folklore. These lofty goals will not be achieved if their partnership fails or breaks. They’re going to stand or fall together.  That’s the promise they’ve made to one another…. When political expediency inevitably meets political vanity project, it will be interesting to see which of these two men reluctantly stabs the other in the back first.

I’m betting, some time in the not too distant future we’ll hear the immortal words “Et tu, Donald.”