Jared Kushner Is The New Batman
President Trump has charged Jared Kushner with:
Bringing peace to the war addicted Middle East
Guiding the beguilingly titled Special Response Force for American Business task force
Cleaning up the horrendous structural and management problems bedevilling numerous American Veteran's Hospitals.
Making the world a better place by fair means or foul before the next wave of major political elections - the mid terms.
This is the kind of great responsibility that requires a man of genius level intellect who possesses off the charts strategic thinking and who always emerges triumphant from a fight with the forces of evil - in other words Bruce Wayne aka Batman aka Ben Affleck.
It's pretty clear that Jared with his matinee idol looks, slim gym-honed frame and (reportedly) first class intellect could easily double as a TV version of Bruce Wayne or perhaps even audition to replace the ageing Ben Affleck on the big screen.
I tried to imagine Jared as a Bruce Wayne-like figure slipping out of a White House briefing, making his way along a secret corridor beneath the White House, changing into his super-hero suit (designed by Ivanka of course), leaping into his unbelievably fast super-hero car and emerging onto the darkened streets of Washington to chase down a motley bunch of genetically predetermined criminals who deserved a good beating…. And I struggled to hold this intriguing vision together.
It occurred to me that the notion of a (soon to be) billionaire like Jared dressing up in a costume to beat up criminals, junkies and homeless folks who had failed to heed the warning light of the Bat Signal streak across the White House lawns was simply preposterous.
I couldn’t make sense of why a man as comfortably wealthy as Jared would risk his life and limb for the simple pleasure of breaking another man’s jaw.
Let’s leave Chris Christie out of this.
And I asked myself again, for the umpteenth time, why it is that Americans in times of need believe they need a rich, muscular man to leap out of his penthouse and beat up the cowardly and the weak in order t defend the vulnerable and the weak?
What is it about American culture that requires a hero who beats up policemen who stand up to him, drives his car through any obstacle that gets in his way, and wages a relentless war against everyone who does not bend their knee to his will.
And then I went to my DC Comics App and eagerly downloaded the next instalment of my monthly Batman comic!
Lesson to self: It is never wise to let grown up and allow real life morals get in the way of a regular dose of comic book heaven.
May the Batman Biff, Bang and Crash his way about the alleys and crack houses of America’s wicked criminal underworld forever!