Lost In Care: 01. A Short Trip To My Old Children's Home

Lost in Care is a blog series charting the early life of a young man who spent his first 15 years in Institutionalised Care in London, England, and often contentious relationship with the outside world.

Awhile back I visited my old children’s home in Balham, South London. The staff of the home were kind enough to allow me to walk through the building and I was able to revisit bedrooms, lounges, play areas and rest rooms that had once been filled with the loud voices and swift movements of more than fifteen disparate children whom my two brothers and I grew up with. The visit stirred up many memories. Over the coming weeks I found myself unsettled, moody and unable to sit down and coax out even a few words from my trusty keyboard. After a period of reflection I decided the best way to exorcise whatever was troubling me was to write it out of my system; so that’s what I’m going to do.

During my time in care I saw a great deal of staff come and go. Many of these men and women were honourable professional human beings who spent their days trying to provide their charges with a stable, secure environment and ensure we felt emotionally and physically confident; regrettably other staff were flawed, damaged human beings who exploited their institutional power by bullying, physically abusing and engaging in sexual activities and secretive relationships with the children in their care without any regard to the long term consequences of their actions. 

All of these human beings, wittingly or otherwise, provided me with many valuable lessons that I carry with me to this day. It’s easy to pick up a paper and find many poor examples of similar behaviour in a range of institutions. While I may well explore a few unpleasant experiences, I intend to share some wonderful memories of many adults whom I met within care and who were brilliant, witty, charming and full of joy and light. It was a pleasure and privilege to know these people and I think of them well.  

The children who I grew up with and shared time with came from a range of cultures and backgrounds; Greek, Turkish, Indian, Nigerian. Jamaican. Irish. The reason for these children staying in Care varied from parent to parent :Financial problems and psychological illness were common factors.

Like all children we fought, played and lived our shared dramas to the full.