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Girls, Don't Ever Get Horny In Twin Peaks

The sequel to Twin Peaks is several episodes in and the show’s main themes turn out to be anything but vague. 

Simply put, if you reside in Twin Peaks and you’re female, past puberty, wear tight clothes, like red lipstick and dare to kiss or sleep with another human being then you will be brutally, viciously beaten to death - in close up!

If you excite any man’s sexual interest you will be punished without fail. 

Your glaringly red lipstick will be smeared across your assailant’s knuckles as he repeatedly punches you. 

Your blood will be sprayed over the bed sheets, the walls, the kitchen, the floor, the ceiling - everywhere

In Twin Peaks-land you will never fight back.

You will not raise a hand to defend yourself.

You’ll lay on the bed passively while you’re assaulted. 

You’ll sit passively at the bar table when a man gropes you.

In fact, any time you're in trouble, you’ll die. 

Because you’ve never learnt any form of self-defence. 

Because you lack any desire to fight back. 

Because you’re incapable of actually hurting a man. 

And you certainly won’t inspire your sisters or daughters or mothers to fight back either.

Because you’re in Twin Peaks and you’re being directed by David Lynch; an old man who has spent twenty-five years walking around the streets, bars and diners of Twin Peaks and has still not met one towns woman who can stand up (literally) for themselves.